Thursday, December 8, 2011

End of the day thoughts.....

I'm back at this once again this week. I've been extremely reflective lately and I find it helpful to write about such reflections. One thing that I reflect on is my spirituality. While I feel certain about many things, I find that I struggle so much with a few important things. Number one is my relationship with my scriptures. I do love them, and value the great wisdom and direction that they give to me....but....I am not consistent with my feasting on them.  I start each day like I'm in a race....the To Do List syndrome.....and the scripture reading gets lost in the dust. So here's what I did today. I told myself that I would not have any computer time until I had read from my scriptures. Result.....a  great experience with my scriptures. D..aaaa.ah....I knew that would happen....but folks I'm still working to make it as real as breathing.......I just needed to state this small step.

So I must say I enjoyed yesterday.....and I will be doing more of it. Just had to say that.

Today....crazy busy..but all good. I enjoyed going with Karen to her doctors appointment. I am getting very excited for baby Bing to arrive. Being pregnant agrees with Karen...she looks radiant!! Kathy did too....what a great joy it brings me to have these mother/grandmother experiences.

Then after a quick mall stop we headed to Kathy's to get Georgia and Cooper and to head to the big kids concert rehearsal. Even though it lacks the finishing touches of the 'real' concert I do enjoy it. It's certainly less crowded, and fun to be there with the little ones. I stayed over and watched G and C while the parents went to the night version. We had a fun evening....bath time, TV ( I almost fell asleep!!) then a great story time. How I love these kiddies!!!

Home by has been a long day. ( I forgot to mention that Kathy helped me color my hair too...between concerts!!)

Last reflection....Christmas.....I'm in my usual rut with this holiday. I live with the Grinch and he's been a damper most of the week. It doesn't help that he ignored our anniversary too this week..
There I said it.....most of any effort to create Christmas in my home comes through my efforts and lately I just feel like saying why bother. If it wasn't for the baby coming I would have nothing to look forward to. Then's really all about a baby that we even hold this holiday. I'm glad that I attended some activities focused around that very thought. I will not let the Grinch ruin my Christmas.
I will rise above this one.

Sorry that's too much of a negative way to close...but I needed to put voice to my heart. Closing with another quote from my wall.....

        What's meant to be will always find its way.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Sometimes you just have to

Today I am doing something that I needed to do. I'm having a 'me' day. When I say that I start to feel some self guilt....but only briefly. I booked this day off for myself because I needed to look after myself better today. Don't get me wrong. I have a wonderful life, a busy life, and so many opportunities to grow and learn each day. However this 'me' gets overwhelmed fairly easily when I feel like I have just no more of me to give. I also often feel like no one knows the 'stuff' that is  wearing me down, even when I'm happily out there doing good things.

So here's what I've been doing today.

I started the day at the Dalplex pool. I always enjoy my swim times ( even though some days it takes effort !!)  I usually swim from 45 min to an hour....generally lengths. However my Wednesdays are extra special. I have several swim buddies....but on Wednesday I do water running with my friend Natalie. I'm not even sure when we met but we have a ball water running and chatting. We solve all the griefs of the week....and laugh...and at least for me....feel  a special friendship. Thanks Natalie. Today I stayed after she left and I swam some more and ended up enjoying almost 90 min. in the pool.
The long hot shower after is also delightful. I came home, made yummy oatmeal, cut up an orange, and read the morning paper. Then with nothing waiting...I looked around and said...what next!!!

So I turned to my little black book and wrote a few Christmas cards. I love getting 'snail mail'. Really I miss it...please write me!!! I usually do one of those family letters ( but I sometimes have mixed feelings about those)...any way this year I've just sent out a few cards and wrote some personal greetings.
I've done some reading today. My daughter Karen is so good at recommending books. She has some interesting titles. One recent read was the Maze Runner which was a very different read but it grabbed me. It is a futuristic/sci-fi..ish read...not my usual pick. But now I'm into book 2 of 3....The Scorched Trials....and it is wild....I really want to finish it and dive into book 3 to find out the whole purpose to this story situation.....the why of the book!! Enough of that read....I stop every once in awhile and read a chapter or two!!

Sewing....This is a project that has been waiting for's a Brown Bear quilt for my little man Cooper. Today I started the borders and along the way I  learned more about sewing machine tension. I really think that I should take a basic sewing machine course. The man that serves my machine was so helpful over the phone!! That's service.

So that's it so far. I have some errands that I want to do, some Christmas shopping still to do, and  I may be donning sneakers soon.

I'm glad that I took a few minutes to blog. My daughter Laura inspires me to write...I love her blog...I started the New Year doing it very regularly....but......
that's another story!!

All guilt aside...we all need to take better care of ourselves. Before I publish this I will also add a thank you to our great Relief Society President, Eileen who taught three beautiful lessons to me this week.
Lesson one.... Her message on Sunday spoke to my heart and probably inspired my day today. She gave us four special points to ponder....
FIRST.... don't compare yourself to others. We often do this and it's usually our weaknesses to others strengths.
 SECOND..stop feeling guilty, don't be so hard on yourself.....I won't expand that one...we all know. forgiving...of everything and everyone including yourself. this one is very hard for me, not the forgiving...but just how do you forgive when someone keeps hurting you...7x7...I know
FOURTH....serve much as you are able.I like this one because I know that service does lift your spirits.We also need to be mindful of our limits and not to feel guilty.....

Lesson Two....Eileen gave a beautiful thought at our Christmas social last night. She spoke to us about Mary..the mother of Jesus...and it gave room for me to reflect on my own motherhood, my mother, and my daughters.
What a glorious  thing it is to be a mother and a woman.

Lesson Three....Eileen is a beautiful lady, soft spoken and such an example. She gives so much of herself for the women of our ward. She is a loving mother. She is inspiring.
Thank you sister!

I have so much to be thankful for. Above all I am thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and for all that has been unfolded in these latter days. I'm glad that I know where I came from and where I am going. I'm grateful that my family is forever. The Lord hears and answers prayers, and he speaks through the scriptures and modern day prophets.

I'll close with this quote that I read each day.....

Are you part of the Inn crowd, or are you one of the Stable few.